did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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