This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
and she was petting her beer can
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
