The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
