Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
