i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
