just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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