check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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