Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
