So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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