is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
