there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize