I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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