her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
