Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
