Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
