Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
