Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
