Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
