I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Pooping to opera.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
