it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
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i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
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I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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