i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
