It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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