I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
