Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
