he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
