we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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