I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
