I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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