Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
