If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
