i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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