It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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