I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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