Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
