why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
