Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
