He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
