If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
