quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
There are leaves in my underwear?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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