Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
