my mouth tastes like poor choices
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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