so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
do nipples grow back?
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