whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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