I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Someone signed my nipple.
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