I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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