Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i drank out of a bidet.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
