it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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