Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
