Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
