I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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