I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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