we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I CAN MOONWALK!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
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It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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