I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
