I'm so fucking centered right now
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
