i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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