I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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