Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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