He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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