just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
