I smell stomach acid.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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