there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
there was a trapeze. enough said
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
