Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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