I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
